ESCAPE BLOG

So you went on a holiday and got lucky. A one-night stand that went further with constant exchange of emails (technology is great, isn’t it?) and serious plans of seeing one another again.

If that happened to you, I’d say go for it.

However, keep in mind that the evening you spent on vacation together sans any cultural faux pas to speak of could be just a fluke. When you have to spend more time together, you may have to keep a lookout for cultural differences which may slowly reveal itself.

How about starting off your visit well? Show your generosity by bringing a little something from home. This little gesture could, believe it or not, prove to be problematic if you do not know anything about his/her culture.

Who would have thought that something so innocent and filled with good intentions could go wrong.

Here are a few guidelines which might help you on your upcoming trip:

What NOT to give…

Never give a clock as a gift in China. It symbolizes death or the end of a relationship due to it’s chinese translation that sounds like the word for “death”.

Never give leather bags as a gift in India. It would be sacrilegous because Hindus revere cows. One must also avoid giving handkerchiefs since it symbolizes death and sorry.

Never give gifts in sets of four as this is translated as “shi” in Japanese. This word is associated with death.

In Middle Eastern countries, make sure that you can reciprocate with gifts of similar quality and value. Cheapos beware! Best bet would be to give silver, previous stones, cashmere, crystal or porcelain.

In Muslim cultures, you must not give alcohol and products made of pigskin as they are offensive.

In Latin America, you must make sure that you do have something. Gift giving shows thoughtfulness and generosity.

When to give…

We are used to giving gifts upon our arrival. For some cultures in the east, gifts should be given before your departure.

How to give…

In China, they may refuse your gift and you have to insist to them that they must take it. Twice. Thrice. They do it to show modesty, afraid that they may seem greedy if they readily accept it. You must also offer the gift with two hands, just like in Japan.

In Muslim cultures, you must use your right hand in giving something. The left hand is supposedly used for body hygiene thus, it is unclean and impolite to use when passing something to someone.

Giving omiyages in Japan is deeply rooted in their culture. You should make sure that you have something to give.

Lucky are you if you found someone from a culture no different from yours.

 “Australia, Canada, United States, European countries - Gift giving in these countries is rarely expected. While seen as a nice gesture, it is more important to avoid gifts that will be perceived as bribes. Small gifts such as pens, business diaries, and mementos with company logos are usually sufficient. It is important to avoid highly personal gifts such as clothing. When visiting the home of a colleague from one of these countries, it is normally appropriate to present a gift to the hostess.”

In any case, best to try and get more information from him/her (during your email exchanges). That way, you wouldn’t be sending out the wrong signals.

Source: Netique

The first time I went to a sauna in Germany, I turned beet red.

See, I came from a culture where it is normal to share the sauna with people who have towel draped over themselves or are wearing bathing suits. Instead, in Germany, I entered and saw people with towels. But instead of covering their “private parts” with towels, they used the lil cloth to spare their butts from the heat. In all their naked glory, they sat there with their legs relaxed and casually spread. Some even nodded or uttered “Guten Tag”. Whereas my beet red self tried not to look where I shouldn’t look and tried to cover myself even more.

The first time I went to the beach in Bornholm, Denmark, I turned beet red.

See, I came from a culture where we do wear bathing suits; where wearing a skimpy bikini was risquè. Instead, in Denmark, I was bothered by the sight of the long stretch of beach (a normal beach and not the FKK kind, mind you) full of naked people.

Parents with their teenaged kids. Couples doing tai-chi. Some playing volleyball or badminton. Would have looked normal if they at least wore a bathing suit. Instead, they all wore their birthday suits. Had my then-boyfriend did not assure me that it was all normal, I would have screamed and called the police.

Almost a decade later and I still hesitate (and turn red) whenever I see a naked body in public.

–> Nudity is not a big deal in these countries. But it sure would shock the hell out of someone who comes from a country where the sight of Janet Jackson’s boobs during an award show caused an uproar.

So, on your next European trip, prepare yourself. But do remember that you are NOT supposed to stare, even if nudity is no biggie in these shores.

When Judith Martin created the column Miss Manners in 1978 to answer questions on etiquette, she gave pointers on how to behave and be polite. At present, we have the likes of the purple dinosaur named Barney telling kids that “please” and “thank you” are magic words.

These tenets guide most of us when we deal with people. It has been so ingrained in us that when we step into another culture where the standards are different, most of us are quick to cry foul. Stories about that rude [insert nationality here] have been know to circle the whole world.

But, are they really rude?! Or are they just misunderstood?

Here are a few examples of what our culture has misconstrued as rude:

Those who have befriended a Korean in their life view them as people from a polite society. However, most strangers who happen to visit Korea find them rude. Koreans elbow their way through crowds. They cut in line without even uttering a quick excuse me or sorry. Some have been known to even belch or fart in public, without a care in the world who heard or smelled.

As one of my officemates explained to me, for Koreans, there are 2 different kinds of people in the world: people they know and people they don’t know. Someone they have formed a relationship with are treated politely. But strangers, on the other hand, just don’t count. So, they do not feel obliged to extend common courtesy, like we do even to perfect strangers.

And then, you have the “rude French”. A myth, I tell you. IMHO, not smiling at anyone at random doesn’t qualify them as rude. They do not smile just for the sake of it. When they do smile, it’s because they truly mean it and have, in their minds, really something to smile about. That’s just how they are.

Insisting to talk in French while in France does not make them rude either. Don’t you speak in English even to Foreigners when you are back in the USA?

“The French are very proud of their language, culture, and country. If you are respectful of the French and their heritage, they will respond in kind.”

What is wrong with these rude people? Nothing!!!

Avoid going to another country expecting people to behave the way people do back home. That is soooo not going to happen. And don’t even dare correct them, either. Show respect for other cultures and revel in the differences. And in return, they will respect you, too.

[source: Seoul Union Church]

Car afficionados driving in Germany are like little kids let loose in a toy store. They go crazy at the sight (even at the mere thought) of stretches of Autobahn with no speed limits.

Before you go to Germany and go loco with your rented car, here are a few facts for you:

• The land of beer has strict drink driving laws. The limit is only 0.25 mg of alcohol per litre of blood.
• don’t flick the bird! Inappropriate hand gestures are forbidden!
• Seat belts front and rear are obligatory everywhere.
• There are autobahns WITH speed limits. Do follow them otherwise, you can get fined heavily. And you have to pay on the spot, too!
• Passing on the right is not allowed!
• It is illegal to run out of gas on the Autobahn so fill ‘er up!
• It is also customary to…
• switch on your hazard blinkers when approaching a traffic jam to warn those behind you.
• Some may flash their high beams to request that you let them pass.

So… if you still fancy yourself to be the next Schumacher, do keep all those in mind for your next trip to Germany.

There are tons of blogs that focuses on helping people prepare for their trip abroad. I should know, I write about 4 other travel blogs for different blog networks.

Anyway, most of these blogs are about the practical stuff: where to get the best vacation package, what to do, where to go, what to bring and how to get there, among others. This blog, on the other hand, is all about HOW YOU CAN PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY.

It’s all about making sure that you don’t piss off the locals by not reacting kindly to how it is (in comparison to what you are used to). Or, if you can’t really stomach how the “others” do things, at least EscapeBlog can help you prepare yourself how to react in order to reduce your culture shock and to prevent any of the locals from labeling other [insert your nationality here] visitors as rude.

This blog aims to help you be aware of different customs and traditions. Sure, it may sometimes sound a lot like I am trying to weird you out but the truth is, I just want to prepare you how to be open-minded.

So… are you ready?

I have been promising (for the past year) to revive this blog but offline life (new baby, job, moving to another country again!) has been keeping me very busy. BUT, the assistant has been hired, the baby is now a year old and our expatriation is almost done. So, I am really back.

Old entries will be brought back in (excuse the dates, though. It will be a lot easier for me to do it without having to edit the dates). And I will be blogging daily.

So you got lucky abroad… and your vacation fling turned serious… and now, well, now you want to propose marriage.

Would she appreciate a dramatic/romantic (Western standards) type of marriage proposal? With you going down on your knees, holding out a ring. Or, would she recoil in horror because you have just offended her?

Like I always remind you… it is best to do your homework. Especially when it comes to sensitive and important issues, it is always good to keep in mind that they may do it differently in other cultures.

In Nepal, the Sherpa society dictate that you should approach the father of the intended bride to subtly signal your intent. Gifts should also be brought. The father normally gathers more information about you and is the one who decides whether you can marry his daughter or not.

Now, if you fell in love with a Chinese girl, you are in for a lot of sleepless nights. It calls for an elaborate proposal and — if you are lucky — acceptance. Basically, an agent (a go between) will handle the negotiations between your parents and the girl’s parents. Gifts will be exchanged and astrological experts need to be consulted. And when that goes on without a hitch, both parties can finally meet face to face where both will judge appearance, education, character and social position. Decision will be based on all of the above mentioned.

If I was a man, I’d be depressed by now.

For some cultures in countries like Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, the Caucasus region, Ethiopia and Rwanda, you might need to channel your inner Collin Farrell bad boy attitude to get you that bride because they still practice bride kidnapping.

“The mechanism of bride kidnappings varies depending on where it is taking place. In Ethiopia and Rwanda the mechanism is quite brutal, where the man kidnaps the woman and rapes her. The family of the woman either then feels obliged to agree, or is forced to when the kidnapper impregnates her.

In Kyrgyzstan and other Central Asian countries, the practice is different. The groom’s male relatives adbuct the girl, while the older women of the family then put pressure on her to marry. Some families will keep the girl hostage for several days to try and crack her, others will let her go if she stays defiant. The groom usually never sees the bride until she has either agreed to marry or as a last ditch effort to try and convince her to stay. It is also common for the woman’s family to be contacted to help convince her to stay, and indeed often they approve of the forced marriage. While less violent than that practiced elsewhere, the essence of the process is still the same. Such social stigma is attached that the kidnapped woman usually feels that she has no choice but to agree, and many of those who refuse even commit suicide afterwards. Although it is illegal in Kyrgyzstan, the kidnappers are almost never convicted.”

If I was a man, I would probably just convince her to elope.

If you could get away with binge-drinking during Spring Break, along with all the other college students who were doing the same, it would be best to have a different set of standards when you are off drinking in another country. Whether you are in a local bar or somewhere in Timbuktu, you should always be conscious of your behaviour.

We all know that having one drink too many could result in trouble.

Nah, Ms. Goody Two Shoes here does not plan on discussing how much you should and can drink when in other countries. I just thought that a “little reminder” is called for as an introduction since the topic is alcohol.

Anyway…

Here are just a few trivia about drinking alcohol in other countries:

• Keep in mind that Whisky is to Scotland as WhiskEy is to Ireland.
• And when in Scotland, do NOT order your Scotch “on the rocks” as you do at home. Instead, order it with a side of water.
• In countries like Germany, it is normal to take alcoholic beverages with your major daily meal.
• In Austria and Germany, when making a toast, make sure you look in the eyes of the person you are saying “Prost” to.
• In Korea, when someone treats you for a drink, you have to return the favour later.
• In Poland, wine is regarded as high-status, middle class drink. Beers and Vodkas, on the other hand, are ordinary or for the working class.
• In France, never bring a bottle of wine when you are invited for dinner at someone’s house. It’s insulting.

If you are visiting Islamic countries, try to avoid drinking. You will definitely get in trouble since consumption of alcoholic beverages is forbidden.

P.S. Not in all Islamic countries, though.

photo credits 

Blood is a fluid that consists of plasma, red & white blood cells and platelets that is circulated by the heart through arteries and veins, carrying oxygen and nutrients to and waste materials away from all body tissues.

Phew! After that long description (thanks to the dictionary), who would want to eat anything with blood in it!

Well, a lot of people do. I do.

In my native Philippines, one of my favorite local dish is called Dinuguan. The term is derived from the Filipino word “dugo” which literally means blood. Dinuguan is cooked with pigs blood, pork meat, entrails, jalapeno and vinegar.

Some would feel squeamish at the thought of eating this with rice. I can’t blame you. If I am faced with a foreign meal that is colored black, I would have my doubts, too.

Well, you’d be surprised to know that there are even more cultures that DO include blood (not human, of course) when they cook food. In China and Vietnam, they also eat coagulated blood of pigs, ducks or geese. In Kenya, Camel bood is drunk. In Tanzania, cow’s blood is mixed with milk.

You’d be even more surprised to know that eating blood is not exclusive to the above mentioned exotic places. Some westerners eat them, too.

In the UK, Ireland and Canada, they have blood sausage which they also call black pudding. These blood sausages are also present in France (boudin noir), Iceland (blóðmör), Portugal (morcela), Finland (mustamakkara) and Germany (blutwurst), among others.

Too squeamish? Or if your religion (Judaism, Islam, Jehovah’s Witness) forbids you to drink blood or eat food made with blood then, it would be best to ask before you start eating. Be warned!

photo source

In Chinese, chopsticks are called “Kuaizi“. Chinese chopsticks are relatively long.

The DOs and DONTs of Chopstick use in CHINA:

• Do NOT beat your bowls while eating. This behavior is associated with beggars.
• Like in Japan, do NOT stick your chopstick into your rice. This practice is used solely for sacrifice.
• When picking up food, the back of your hand should be on top at all times. It would be of bad taste and would mean that you are unrefined if you twist the wrist that is holding the chopstick and people would be able to see your palm.

It all sounds strange to me, considering that I have Chinese blood. But, that is how it works.